overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
earthnation: will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
rampaigehalseyface: seababe: You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
Rum is actually pretty good. Just saying
sharonosbourne: paulbearer: there are people who think kit kats taste good yeah they’re called smart people
emperorwebrunner: synchronoise-ity: Calling it now Chef Ramsey is going to be the 12th Doctor “get in the fucking tardis GOD” “this planet is disgusting; bland, wet. it’s embarrassing” doctor, where are we? “in the shit.” your plan is so undercooked it’ll give salmonella to a cyberman!
calumon: my school’s “rival school” is on lockdown right now bc someone put weed in the vents so everyones slowly getting high oh my godd
julietspencers: fetuses do not think they do not “scream out” when they are aborted they have no brain function and no nerve endings until long after the deadline for a legal abortion they aren’t “sad” when you abort them they do not “realize what is happening” And these aren’t my beliefs, they’re scientific facts
grampas: if you can’t handle me at my worst you’re probably a rational person
dingoinnuendo: wwebkinz: dingoinnuendo: makin my way downtown have you accepted jesus christ as your lord and savior walkin faster
cleverstarkidurl: when people complain about great gatsby spoilers THE BOOK HAS BEEN OUT FOR 88 YEARS
i get annoyed pretty easily for somebody who is really fucking annoying
rnackenzie: *washes problems in hot water so they shrink*
gasptambourines: gay-men: Absolut Vodka release a limited edition label free bottle to celebrate diversity and challenge Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender prejudice. socially conscious vodka? SIGN. ME. THE FUCK. UP.
drarna: drugs? no thanks, the only “high” i need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder.